Well, seems like I’ve sort of been neglecting my tumblr for the last month. I feel bad - I love you guys (my awesome followers) wholly - you guys have stuck with me through the various changes that my blog has undergone (it used to be really dark, then went full-on grunge - and is now more colorful and eclectic). So, as a sort of update -
People who have been following me since before February will probably know that things have been turbulent. I moved from Switzerland to New York, only to miss three months of school and then move back to Miami. Miami took some getting used to… but it’s been almost three months, and I’m loving it!
As for the title of this post - ‘fear is the thief of dreams’ - that has been my life motto for four years. That, and, ‘at the end of the day, life is too short to make anyone else but yourself happy.’ The reason I mention this is because the first quote - the title - has really changed my life in the past month.
I’ve been smoking for three years - ever since I was, well, pretty much on the cusp of turning thirteen (I turn seventeen in September). I got on the pill about a month and a half ago - and, well, for reasons I don’t want to dwell into, I decided to quit smoking about a month back (so about two weeks into being on the pill). I went cold turkey. Mind, I had been smoking a pack a day for three years. But I did it. I quit. And, three weeks ago, I cut out all junk food from my diet. Chocolate was harder, and I still indulge in a little Lindt candy ball (only one) every other day or so. I also started exercising. Today, I jogged for seventy minutes. It was the first run that felt extremely good, exhilarating, even.
Why am I saying this? Because, look - my friends always thought that I would be the last person capable of jumping on the bandwagon of consistent exercise and healthy eating. I advocated smoking a shitload, never exercising, and eating two kit-kats, a chocolate bar, and a bag of chips (alongside normal food) every day. I have to admit that the minor amount of weight I gained starting the pill did make it impossible for me to NOT consider doing something about losing weight (I’ve always been pretty slim, but I have an hourglass figure and not a skinny teeny-tiny, Victoria’s Secret Angels ‘hourglass’ figure). But, it wasn’t just that. Look, I’m a vain person - I won’t lie. I put as much stock in intelligence and what I like to consider the ‘deep’ factor as I do on appearance. Ironically, I’ve also always secretly had a really low self-esteem.
After I started exercising, though, that all changed. I don’t feel bad about my body anymore. Why? Because I fucking WORK for it. Yeah, I have every right to be confident because I don’t sit on my ass, I work for my stomach and my legs and for everything else. Also, exercising just makes me body feel good - I don’t even want to eat crap food anymore, because my body hates them (that, and the fact that now I think - hey, a 70-minute run burns about 650 calories+ [depending on how fast you’re going], while a chocolate bar - ONE chocolate bar - is about 600 calories, lol).
What I’m trying to get across, though, is that if I could do it, ANYONE can do it. Seriously. So if you want to change - if you want to have a better body, if you want to stop being depressed, if you want to gain confidence - do it NOW. Start NOW. Because you CAN do it. And you will. And you don’t have to go to extreme measures like anorexia, bulimia, or cutting to relieve the stress/”fat body”/depression (trust me - I know) - yes, it’ll take longer for your body to get accustomed to a new regime… but things that last a long time take longer to get used to. That’s just a fact of life.
I realized a while ago that I actually enjoyed being upset, and living in this constant cycle of semi-depression. I’m out of it now - still recovering, but always going forward.
Anyways. That was long, and I apologize. But, I just wanted to tell my beautiful, wonderful followers that if I could do it, so could they! EVERYTHING and ANYTHING is within your grasp. <3 Love you guys - and if any of you ever want to talk, hit me up! (I don’t bite, I swear, haha).